Everyone is pretty excited about the little penguin except Sidney. Her personality is different – she has inherited this permanent sulk and she sort of stalks around the house with her head down and her eyes all red. Part of this can be attributed to the fact that for her entire life she has spent nine hours, Monday through Friday, in a three by four foot wire box in the back corner of the kitchen. When we would return home from work she would be all bounding out of her skin, knocking things and people over, getting herself into trouble. She slept like eighteen of twenty-four hours in the day. Now, with me at home, she is out all day. I try to walk her (it’s more like the shuffle my grandmother had in the later stages of of her life), but I’m more focused (paranoid) about the stroller veering into the road or the wind bothering Jack’s head or the sun shining too brightly in his eyes, than the dog, with whom I used to carry on entire dialogues throughout our walks.
Mark is trying to be intentional about communicating to Sidney that he still loves her, that she is still his puppy, not wanting to inflict any irreversible psychological damage. He lays around with her on the floor watching March Madness, takes her for a walk in the early morning, throws the tennis ball for her in the back yard, tells her she is a good dog when she sniffs at the baby. I, on the other hand, after these two and a half years getting used to our 90 pound moose resident, have temporarily lost interest in her altogether. She knows it. When I’m holding Jack she stares at me from across the room. Occasionally she will come over and sniff him, but she mainly stays away. If I pass him off to Mark or put him in his crib, she will come over and sniff at me. She rarely licks me now. I feel for her, I really do, but I’m not that heartbroken. She will get over this and used to him. He will be her boy, she will realize that he is the best thing in her tiny little world, and it will all shake out. But until then, I think she still adores Mark, resents me, and is vaguely curious about the little man.
I actually think I feel the same way – I adore Mark. He is very worthy of affection these days, as he is very aware of what is going on, changing diapers and clothes and sheets and all whenever he is home, knowing that all he is going to get back is a very heartfelt, mumbled Yes, thank you, please, do that. I am also pretty curious about Jack, and I resent the fallout of the destruction that happened to my body. So really, Sidney girl, I feel ya.